12:21 p.m. - 2004-06-03
Tomorrow is my last day at my job. I cannot wait! I feel like a kid before Christmas! I am going to miss my friends sooo much. But damn it I wonít miss this hellhole. Iíve been at a lot worst places actually. But I am looking forward to a new beginning.
Speaking of new beginningsÖ..
Iím pregnant. Yes. I have very mixed feelings about this. First of allÖ no offense to those babyís mothers out there, but I always felt I would be a wife. Not a BM! Itís killing me. I hate it. Itís not fair! SecondlyÖ My family is going to be upset. I am almost two months and I havenít yet told them. and to be honest I still donít plan on saying anything anytime soon. Everyone thinks that this is an awful thing to do but I KNOW my mother. I told my brother, which means itís just a matter of time before my mother finds out. And maybe that was just my copout. And ThirdlyÖ Iím changing jobs. My new job has a 90-day probation period, at which time they will figure out that the kid is knocked-up. will they keep me? Will I lose my new job? Who knows. I will also have to pay for COBRA so I can get pre-natal care. Thatís like $450 a month! Geesh! But I guess I better get used to putting out more money huh?
But donít get me wrong. I think being a mommy is going to be cool. I just donít know how to take it just yet. I guess when I can feel movement Iíll really believe it. Until thenÖ I just donít feel motherly.
All those mamas out thereÖ HELP ME! AIM me or something! Meadow377